Back from the hospital.... again

Well, I'm out of the hospital again. I was admitted Saturday and was released late yesterday. I'm ok.
I was admitted because I just can't keep food in. I'm doing a little better with that but not great. They figured I could rest at home as well as I could in the hospital, so here I am, on the couch, watching 'Mythbusters' and playing freecell. They are still reluctant to set up 'the drain' so I have all the lovely pancreas fluid that I went in with. Because of this I still have a gallbladder and will for a while I suspect. I've told my school that I won't be back this year because I know I will need all that time to recover. Pancreatitis is a bitch.
My son had his third birthday the day before I went back into the hospital. While in the hospital, in a morose mood, these lyrics reminded me of my little P. So here goes:

Sometimes I get the feeling
That I won’t be on this planet
For very long
I really like it here
I’m quite attached to it
I hope I’m wrong

All I really wanna say
Is you’re the reason I wanna stay
I loved you before I met you
And I met you just in time
’cause there was nothing left

Happy Birthday P.

Health Rant

TMI warning - bodily functions discussed and whining ahead.

I went to the doctor today. I have a head cold and I'm out of atasol 30s. In addition, after I eat I often need to go to the bathroom. It was not my regular doctor and I hated discussing diarrhea with someone I didn't know. However these days I seem to be getting used to it. And now I'm discussing it with all of you.

So apparently it's not good. The head cold? I need to get a chest x-ray because he can't tell me it's not pneumonia. And I'm under strict orders to get to the hospital asap if I keep having diarrhea. And I have a bunch of blood tests to get done. He thinks I might be getting worse again and that I'll most likely need to go back to the hospital and be admitted, perhaps getting the drain set up around the pancreas so that they can remove the gallbladder. Which means possible infection.

This had been a good day. Well, except for the blue flame that'd shot out of my hairdryer before it died. My disability was approved, I got neat samples in the mail and we got our 100$ beer and pretzels cheque. And now... I'm so very frustrated and mad at my body and my health.


Bloody Heck.

I wish sometimes I could just relax. Just lean back and ask for help. Admit that I'm not so well. Might not seem like a big deal but the last time that I didn't do that I ended up in the hospital for a month.
I'm so relieved - my husband is taking tomorrow and friday off. I don't know why, but when I heard I felt a huge sense of relief. Sometimes I don't realize when I need to ask for help but the idea of getting the house ready for the party tomorrow was a little overwhelming. Things are going interestingly health wise and I don't have a lot of energy.
Now I just need to decide if I want to henna my hair today or leave it until next week.

Just the perfect day...

Yesterday was a wonderful day. This whole weekend was wonderful. We did normal things, more than normal things. Having the ability to be normal again was fantastic.
Yesterday we started with P. and D. getting haircuts. This was P.s first one and he was so very good while it was being done. Then, after we had celebration coffees (well, coffee, italian soda and apple juice from a coffee place), P. rode twice in a coin operated helicopter. He hadn't expected it to move which gave me a bad mommy moment when I laughed at his facial expression as he moved into the air. However, with his new hair cut making him look and act oh-so-mature and his love of anything 'crazy' he recovered and enjoyed it immensely.
The day continued amazingly with lunch at the UC, errands, the skateboard store and subs for supper. We're all realizing how important normal family days are after not having them for so very long. P. is such a wonderful little boy and in so many way makes our family a family.
I think I'm just getting sentimental - my babys first haircut and his third birthday in the same week will do that I think!

Time spent sleeping is time well spent

I had two naps today. TWO. One was this morning for an hour and a half, one was this afternoon for two and a half hours. Both were wonderful. I think the extended sleep came from not getting a nap yesterday and being busy today.
Yes, it's Saturday, the day of goofing off and I was busy. P. and I made a special breakfast this morning ('Pillsbury' cresent rolls and scrambled eggs), then I napped, then we went out and did normal things. We exchanged some shirts, went looking around places we shouldn't, went to the drug store and then went to see what was happening at the airport (fighter jets!). D. and I remarked how normal it was. However, it all made me quite tired. So a nap happened after lunch. And now D. and I have made spaghetti and we're going to have a family supper.
I know, the point of a blog is not to bore. However, the realization of how long it has been since we did something normal makes it noteworthy to write about our boring, normal day. I got sick with severe pancreatitis at the end of January and was admitted into the hospital. I was released February 19th and came home tired and in lots of pain. I spent a lot of my time throwing up or sleeping until I finally returned to the hospital March 18th and was readmitted with malnutrition and more pancreas issues. I didn't get out again until April 13th. I'm a lot more myself this time - not as tired, not as sick - but I'm not totally there yet. But doing something normal - errands on a Saturday - make me happier than I can say. Sure I needed to nap for hours, but we still did it. And that's wonderful.
In our family, we have what we call 'hug sandwiches'. Each one of us plays a role - usually I'm the meat, D. is the bread and P. is the cheese. P. decides who is which sandwich element. The other day he turned to D. and said : Mama is the bread because she keeps us together. Comments like that make being home happier than I can imagine.